"Let's have a chin wag, then"

Last week consisted entirely of writing my paper. 3,000 words is a lot when you have nothing really to talk about. After we handed it in on Friday, I could finally start really looking forward to the weekend. I was planning on going back to Paddy's with my friends to do some more shopping/exploring, but then I realized that I really wanted to get a run in that day. So I covered myself in sunscreen and headed out. Halfway through the run it started downpouring--so much for that sunscreen. It cut my run short and was an adequate indicator of what the rest of the weekend was about to be like.

The whole weekend I've been thinking, come on Sydney? Where's that sun everyone's always bragging about. Our Saturday plans were pretty much set in stone, though. A few of us had signed up to go to Royal National Park, which we discovered on Friday had a cancellation fee--we still would have had to pay half of the $119 if we were to cancel because of the rain. With that in mind, I decided to suck it up and go regardless of the weather, which I'm pretty sure everyone else also decided.

Somehow my phone died through the night and I woke up 20 minutes before we were supposed to go. So I scrambled around, got ready in a far smaller window of time than I would have preferred, and ran downstairs. Only to find that the bus was late and I actually could have taken 40 more minutes to get myself out of bed and ready. Not a big deal though--the bus (which ended up being this ridiculous van) eventually came, and our tour guide, probably in his early twenties, jumped out of the driver's seat, beaming.

"Hi everyone! Sorry for a bit of a wait, hope everyone had breakfast? Yeah? Cool!"

This guy was ridiclous. The side of the van had a tiny sign that read something along the lines of, "You're wilderness and wildlife escape!" Very worth being some sort of Failblog post. We all clamored into the van where some people were already sitting in the front. I made my way to the back, stepping carefully over spears that reminded me of my track days where javolins took up the entire aisle, leaving us to perform crazy sidestep acts. Once settled, our tour guide, Andy, started talking to us through his microphone that all tour guides keep as a necessity.

"Hey guys! Hmm..does anyone here speak French? Heh, heh because we have French people on this van. These guys, up here. No one? Hm. Okay. Okay well I'm Andy, are you all from America? Cool. Cool okay well.."

I don't even know how to describe how hilarious this guy was. The entire trip felt like we were being guided around by a seven-year-old who thought that nature rocks. At first I thought, Oh god what have I gotten myself into. He has no idea what he's talking about.

"Seems to be raining a bit, yeah? Well are you guys, is everyone wearing swimsuits? Okay, cool, so you don't mind the rain. Heh"

After everything he said he would laugh awkwardly and apruptly, there would be a short pause, and we would all start cracking up. Halfway through the hour long trip we were saying "who IS this guy?"

Anyway, once we got to the first site, Andy explained to us that we would have a "big of a chin wag" before making our way. At that point we were all like, "wait, what? huh?"

"What? You don't say chin wag? It's you know, like, when you talk....your chin wags? Yeah."

Again, another point where we would burst out laughing. We had our chin wag about the site, the trees, the birds, some Aboriginal history, filled our water bottles and got back into the van where we started our trip through Royal National Park.

Even in the rain, the place was beautiful. A large portion of preserved wildlife, the park was filled with strange exotic plants, birds, and beautiful views of secluded, untouched ocean surrounded by looming cliffs, forest, and rocks protruding from the water. The waves were massive, and every time the hit the rocks the waves would explode around them, Little Mermaid style. We hiked through forest, along the way being guided by Andy who would explain different plantlife to us. Turns out that even though he had the excitement of a 7 year old--at one point he literally crouched by a puddle, splashed his face, leaped up and kept going as though nothing had happened--he definitely knew what he was talking about and it was clear that Australian nature was his life. He brought us to some amazing views where we had time to take pictures, and he would take pictures of us, which have been promised to soon arrive to each of us via email.

At one point, as we were travelling from one spot to the next, Andy crashed his van into a few boulders. Yelling "Ahhhhh fuck shit ugh!" we all started cracking up thinking, "is this really happening?" Of course, I was in the very back and, as I predicted he looked into his rearview mirror with his microphone and said, "You uh, Mandy?" "Jackie." "Jackie! Yeah, can you uh, just open your window a bit to tell me if I can back out okay?" "YUP." Anyone who knows my driving capabilities knows that I am horrible with backing out of anything. So I reluctantly poked my head out the window in the pouring rain to tell him, "left, left, a little left, yeah you're good WHOA SLOW DOWN PLEASE." Did not know that my trip to Royal National Park would include me guiding our tour guide out of a tight spot. It was great.

After a long walk we got back in the van to go to a new site for lunch, where there was a sheltered picnic area. We all pitched in to make lunch, provided with lunch meat, vegetables and weird condiments ranging from corn relish to spicy chilly philly cream cheese. Starving, we scarfed down sandwiches that were quite makeshift, combining random things to see how they would be. Of course, a few of us were at the French table, where conversation with them was limited to "can you please pass the sundried tomatoes? The sundried..those. There." After lunch we took turns in groups learning how to throw spears and boomerangs, another surpising area of expertise of Andy's.

Those boomerangs were scary. I kept freaking out after every throw anyone made until Andy got so amused he decided to record me freaking out, saying in a very jolly manner that this will "definitely make it's way to the website." After the boomerang/spear session we got back under the shelter where he explained more about the boomerang and its history.

"Actually....you could even hit one of those seagulls," he said, pointing behind him where some seagulls were just hanging out innocently.

"Do it!" Someone challenged him.

He looked at them with an unmistakeable glimmer in his eye. "Aw, don't tempt me now."

"Do it!" More people chimed in.

"Um, would anyone object to this? Raise your hand if you don't want me to throw a boomerang at a seagull. No one? Really? No? Well, if anyone finds out about this you are all share the blame."

He snuck over to a flock of them by the beach, looking back at us every once in a while, me thinking the whole time, he IS seven. And praying he wouldn't hit it. He didn't, thank God, though I seemed to be the only person hoping he didn't. Instead he lost his boomerang in a marsh. "Aw, there it goes, oh well," he shrugged.

Our trip continued with coffee and Tim-Tams (best. thing. ever.), and some more sight-seeing after the more daring decided to go into the freezing, high wave ocean near our sheltered picnic area.

Exhausted we finally made our way back, rewarded on the bus with boomerangs for each of us and a thank you for "being good spirits despite the rain and not dying in the ocean..aheh.."

Despite the rain, it was definitely worth it. I saw some great views, learned a little more about the wildlife here, threw a spear and boomerang, and had a ridiculous tour guide that entertained us the whole way.

I was going to write more about the weekend but I'll save it for another post since this is already absurdly long. More to come!